Lisbeth Salander

I got this situation here guys… I honestly don’t know what to do. Well, I know what to do, just I don’t know how. If you’re read my last two posts, you know that I have a girlfriend. Besides saying this on my blog, only five people know. Me, her, GG, Sydney and Phoebe. This is gonna be a really awkward post. It’s still a bit strange for me. Anyway, I’ll try to explain the best I can.

Shortly after I got in this relationship with Molly, I talked to my friend Andrew about it. Andrew is an online friend. My best online friend, I suppose. I tell him everything. So I was talking to him about it. I don’t quite remember his exact words but he brought up making the first move. The conversation ended a bit after and I told Molly what he said. She replied with something along the lines of “And yes, I expect you to make the first move.” I’ll admit, I really didn’t know what to do. I was confused, thinking “Why me”? She’s been in a relationship before, I haven’t. I’ve never done shit in my life before. But I can understand her reasoning. She wants me to set the pace, I get it.

I could never think of me being the one to take charge in a relationship, especially one with a female. Now, a few days later, I’ve asked a few friends what they think. I feel much better about it. Much more confident. I still don’t want to do anything in public, in school. If I was alone, well… you can imagine. But, she always has shit to do after school. Sports and shit. So, we don’t get together much outside of school. I think that’s the only problem here. I want to get together with her soon, and so does she. It’s obvious.

She just started lacrosse today, which means she won’t be available after school for a while. Which sucks. Then I can’t really see her. I do in school quite a bit, but I don’t want to do anything in public, for obvious reasons. I can barely give her a hug. I just can’t do anything. I don’t know what I’m so scared about, but I’m working on it. I’ve pretty much gotten over the hug thing.

Anyway, she told me today that there’s no lacrosse practice on Friday. So, I have the chance to finally get alone with her. Sydney told me “If you don’t kiss Molly on Friday, I’ll kill a bitch.” Yep, I feel the pressure now. Awww, shit. I’m comfortable with it. I don’t feel pressured to do anything. Now, you can imagine. I want to make this ‘first move’ and she wants me too. I just don’t want to embarrass myself. I know it’ll be awkward, no matter what. Which, well, I’m over that. Just I don’t know how I’ll do this. I’m ready. Fuck. When the time’s right…

Oh Jesus. It’s like my whole life is coming up to this one day. Shit.